Crab Salad

So my class is sitting at the table, eating lunch. A couple of the kids are sitting at seats behind the table, talking quietly. Suddenly, a kid named Desmond starts going freakin’ nuts.

Huffing and puffing like a train gathering up speed, Desmond said, “Crab? Who sayin’ crab? You can’t be talkin’ ’bout no crab with me around!”

The two preppy kids who this diatribe was directed at appeared shocked and confused. They had been talking about how good crab salad is. It was lunchtime, after all.

I explained to the crab salad lovers that the word “crab” was considered a diss to Crips. Then I explained to Desmond that the whole world didn’t revolve around his identity as a Crip, and that he could eat lunch by himself if he couldn’t deal with people discussing crab salad.

Desmond had to leave math class because people were “making a big deal” about the crab incident. We talked about how perhaps he was the one who had made it into a big deal. Then I went to call his probation officer to let her know that Desmond was continuing to make his gang affiliation known at every possible opportunity.

On the phone with her, relaying how Desmond was telling me that he wanted to convert to Judaism (no doubt in order to get away with putting a six-pointed Crip star on his notebook later on) and was throwing signs, she told me the funniest story.

When first arrested, Desmond was sitting with two officers in a holding room, watching television with them. A Red Lobster commercial came on. One of the officers remarked, “I sure could do with some of that blue crab.”

Desmond went ballistic.

We’ve got a long way to go.

Sidenote: In my mailbox today was a flyer about child abuse that had a headline reading, “Let’s Paint the Town Blue!” I’m sure several of my students would be happy to take them up on that.

Photo by: LightisBeauty